If the dress is frivolous (i.e., weird fabric), keep the accessories minimal. Let the dress be stupid on its own. Do not add a turtleneck underneath. Do not add chunky boots. Wear sandals. Embrace the exposed skin.

If you’ve scrolled through TikTok, Instagram, or even Reddit’s r/femalefashionadvice lately, you’ve seen the memes. A screenshot of a confirmation email for a backless linen mini dress, captioned: “Did I need this? No. Is it 96 degrees outside? Yes. Did I buy it anyway? Absolutely.”

Apply clinical strength antiperspirant everywhere. Not just the pits. Behind the knees, the lower back, the sternum. You will thank me later.