This is the uncut, unglamorous, real-time diary of the COVID-19 twilight zone. The first thing you notice at 4 AM is the absence of life. The world outside your window holds its breath. No lawnmowers. No traffic. No Zoom calls. There is only the hum of the fridge (which sounds suspiciously like it’s whispering your name) and the ragged rhythm of your own breathing.
For the first few days of COVID, you fight the symptoms with warrior logic. Hydrate. Medicate. Sleep it off. But by the fourth night—or is it the fifth? Time has dissolved into a slurry of bad TV and half-empty cough syrup bottles—your body rebels against the concept of rest. i wrote this at 4am sick with covid
When you are sick at 4 AM, completely isolated, the loneliness is physical. You might have a partner sleeping next to you. You might have a roommate three feet away. You might even have a cat who judges you from the foot of the bed. This is the uncut, unglamorous, real-time diary of
There is a specific, surreal torment to being awake at 4 AM when the rest of the world is asleep. It is the hour of wolves, of insomniacs, and of broken people trying to tape their lives back together. But when you are awake at 4 AM sick with COVID , it stops being a mere hour. It becomes a country. A lonely, feverish country you never applied for a visa to enter. No lawnmowers
You found it.
Now, at 4:12 AM, the fever breaks. You are suddenly, violently sweating. The hoodies become a wet straitjacket. You tear them off. You lie starfished on the cool side of the mattress, which feels like the most luxurious spa treatment in history for exactly ninety seconds.
Now go change your sweaty pillowcase. You’ve earned it.