Stoya is waiting, and she has brought snacks. You can find Stoya’s ongoing musings on her Substack and her collected essays in Philosophy, Love, and Lollipops . For the true "mishaps," follow her Twitter (X) feed, where the line between love, technology, and disaster is drawn daily in 280 characters or less.
She validates the feeling that love is often a series of technical glitches. She gives language to the "mishap" of wanting someone who is bad for you, not because you are broken, but because you are human. Her work rejects the hustle culture of self-improvement. You don't need to be a "high-value partner"; you need to survive the absurdity of waking up next to a stranger you thought you knew.
Her essays often feature a recurring character: the "Too-Smart Boyfriend" (often a tech coder or academic). In these narratives, Stoya details how two intelligent people can use their wit as a shield against vulnerability. A "mishap" might involve a conversation about post-structuralism that is actually a fight about emotional neglect, or a spreadsheet of pros and cons that leads to a breakup.